The rhymifications of poetechnology

Humor Column
By: Jack Fabian Special to The News Messenger
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The Internal Revenue Service saw the above words and told me they’d like to use my talent to prepare the 2012 instruction booklet for filing your income tax. I just filed my income tax and I gotta tell ya that booklet already has about as much clarity as a speech made by Sarah Palin. But I brought up poetry for a reason and that is because you can make poetry out of anything. As an example, we just went on daylight saving time. It’s called “Only Time Will Tell.” Only Time Will Tell Every time I ask what time it is I get a different answer, Seems like everything we think or do Somehow gets all wound up in time. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, Weeks, months, years and even eons, These measurements all became familiar Way back in my prime. All kinds of clocks all over the place Throughout the house in which I stand, They’ve kept me on schedule every day of my life. I think we should give the lowly clock a hand. We can’t really say a clock ‘tocks’ too much, ‘Cause its ‘ticks’ are exactly equal in number, And then they have that alarming thing That wakes you from your slumber. Daylight saving comes on, or the power goes off, Then you must find all these clocks and set ‘em. If we could get away from all this time control, We could relax and just forget ‘em. March 20th was the first day of spring so here’s a poetechnical compilation called “The Prolificity of Bugs n’ Weeds.” The Prolificity of Bugs n’ Weeds Oh, the life of the gardener as he welcomes spring, As the weeds n’ bugs invade the whole darned thing. So you spray, you dig, you pick and you pull, And you suffer more frustration as the garbage can’s full. To your dismay, you discover it’s time To fertilize, mulch, add conditioners and lime. And now comes the fact that you must mow, n’ even rake, Then the wife screams, “Hire someone for heaven’s sake!” It won’t take much more to look forward to fall, ‘Cause the bugs n’ weeds ease up after all. But the worst of it is what follows all this, It’s Christmas again, the bugs and weeds I will miss. My neighbor’s doctor visits made me come up with “Longevity Through Procrastination.” A nice old gentleman down the street from me, Still quite agile, must be 85 or so, Enjoyed his life, but then things changed … He got seriously ill a couple years ago. After several doctors reviewed his case Trying to arrive at a treatment they should give, And, after many consultations, he was made to understand He had only six months to live. The six months came to an end, had a huge bill, But he had put no money in the pot. This upset the doctor, So an additional six months is what he got. There’s a lesson to be learned here, And it may be some kind of crime, But if you pay the bill when it comes due, You may find yourself dying right on time. Jack Fabian is a Lincoln resident.