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Getting the bug and learning to appreciate your spouse

By: Tony Overbay, Humor Columnist
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I'm sick! No, not sick as in sick and tired of politics, although at this particular moment, I am. Once again, I forgot to run for senate or president or something like that. There goes making a difference for yet another year! And I'm definitely not sick of being so incredibly organized because that would be a flat- out lie. My plan is to get a running start on my New Year's Resolutions by not putting anything away between now and Jan. 1 so my “get organized” resolution will have a little more meaning. No, I'm just plain sick, the kind where you can only breathe after laying on one side of your body for a few minutes, bringing the opposite nostril to a complete standstill. I'm sick in that “I'm don't even feel like eating ice cream” kind of way. Don't get me wrong, I powered through and ate it last night anyway but I definitely didn't feel like it. Even worse, I'm one of those guys who likes to work into conversation, especially with someone ill, that I never get sick. So when I eventually do catch a bug. I can sense the joy in those around me, “Oh, I thought you never got sick?” I'll be the first to admit that I deserve a little of that and I promise next time you're sick and I'm not, I'll try my best not to rub it in. One of the best parts of being sick is hearing about all the remedies that many friends (and by friends I mean include Internet sites) say bring immediate relief to pain and suffering. Eager to quickly put this sickness behind me, I decided I'd try them all. Right now, I'm hopped up on Airborn, Zicam, Cold-Eeze, Echinacea and vitamin C and I slept last night with Vic's vapor rub slathered on the bottom of my feet (don't worry, I was wearing socks) and guess what? Today, I still feel sick. Someone once told me that if you let a cold run its course, it would last about a week. If you treated it with any and all of the aforementioned cure-alls, it should only last about seven days. I'll let you know if there's any truth to this statement. I also find myself struggling with how to act. I feel like I need to act a bit more sick on the outside to justify the overall laziness that I'm exhibiting to the family. But if I act as sick as I feel on the inside, I come across as a bit of a whiner or at least that's what my wife tells me, thanks honey! When my wife was recently sick, my youngest daughter, 6, said, “Moms aren't supposed to get sick!” I agreed! I think I appreciate my wife quite a bit but nothing helps you appreciate your spouse more than a few days doing everything while he or she is sprawled out on the upstairs couch watching the Food Network both night and day. This morning, my son asked me if I had to go to work when I was sick? “Only if we want food on the table,” I answered to which he suggested we just eat out. I do appreciate the support, son. What I dislike the most (I almost typed the word “hate” but quickly remembered that was a bad word in my house) about being sick is the feeling that you can't remember what “normal” ever felt like and there's a chance that you'll never feel it again! What if this flu I have turns out to be the dreaded bird flu! Actually not to worry, my friend told me that rubbing a little cinnamon on the small of the back while eating Club crackers with spray cheese and whistling show tunes will take care of that pesky flu in a matter of days! Tony Overbay is a marriage and family intern and a father of four. More of Tony's writings can be found at www.tonyoverbay.com.