‘Trimmer’ pays visits

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We’ve all heard of the “tales” of the Grim Reaper. I do not fear “him.” I’m ready but I’m not eager. I’m a very lucky man. I just turned 83 and I’m as happy as can be.

I want to talk now about the “Grand Trimmer.” He’s the one I have dealt with my whole life long. It started with my circumcision, then one of three tonsillectomies, then my appendectomy.

The Grand Trimmer was still after me: meningitis, kidney stone, hernia, shingles (lasting more than two years,) seizure, stroke, scoliosis, a ruptured disk and a couple I forgot.

Two weeks before our marriage, since Arlene and I both had children from previous marriages, we decided that I, as the gentleman, should have a vasectomy.

Oh what a tender honeymoon! Add to these “catastrophes” a couple of “corporate failures”…and you can see I’ve been the guest of the Grand Trimmer quite a few times.

But not all of the visits of the Grand Trimmer are unwelcome.

Let me put it this way:


A surgeon’s knife cuts to heal

A gardener’s clipper cuts to grow

A butcher’s cleaver cuts to feed

A barber’s razor cuts to enhance

A lover’s rejection cuts to free

A sculptor’s chisel cuts to reveal

A farmer’s plow cuts to multiply

A carpenter’s saw cuts to build

An employer’s cuts to open other doors

A friend’s insight cuts to help

A psychiatrist’s analysis cuts to improve…

Maybe before I go, I’ll undergo a lobotomy. Then I’ll forget who I hate. But I don’t want to forget Arlene, my true love.

My beloved has played a large role in trimming my wings but I’d before not go there.

Dick Huser, Lincoln